Worst Conversation Ever
by lxk
Summary: MidMind Games. Kim and Ron talks ground rules for this new uncomfortable sitch. Ties somewhat into my Blood on the Stockroom Floor, but can be read as a Oneshot.


**Author's note: This plot bunny jumped into my head while writing **_**Blood on the Stockroom Floor**_**, and I just couldn't kill it. So, I'm writing it out instead, so I'll get rid of hit. It's mid- Mind Games, after the dinner scene, hope you'll recognize it. Enjoy!**

Well, that dinner could have gone better, Kim thought as she dragged Ron to her room. It had been somewhat disturbing to watch… Ron eating with his usual lack of manners. She'd gotten used to it over the years, but seeing it taking place while Ron was inhabiting her body had almost sent her over the edge.

Not to mention the confused looks from their parents. Thankfully, Private Dobbs in the guise of Dr. Drakken had consumed some of her dad's interest, but Kim knew it was only a matter of time before her dad would realize the implications of their situation. Her mother would too, probably sooner, if it weren't for the fact that she was trying to wrap her head around the fact that brains could be switched at all. She was probably thinking about the ethical implications and other uses for the brain-switch device.

Kim, however, had had plenty of time to get over the initial shock, but now a new problem was rearing its head. Seeing Ron enthusiastically flip her… his… no, her hair was… unsettling. If he had been that excited to try something simple like that… Add to that his excitement at the possibility of popularity… They really need to sort this out.

"Hey, KP, you know, this is your top, so, don't go blaming me when it tears because you keep ripping it." Kim released her grip, and Ron seemed to ease up a bit. "So… I guess you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, nice observation, Ron. We need to set some ground rules if we're gonna live through this sitch." Kim raised her voice a bit, but she needed to get Ron's full attention on this.

"Ok, calm down, Kim. Wade has got it all covered, and I'm sure he's gonna find Drakken's new lair soon." Ron had been quite stunned at the switch at first, but had settled into she sitch even faster than Kim.

"Yeah, I know. But I'm thinking not tonight. And if we have to go to school like this…"

"Ok, some ground rules sound ok", Ron said after a moment of contemplation.

"Good to have you on my side. Now, first thing's first. Looking and touching." Ron squirmed a bit. "Now, here's how I think: nothing of either kind on stuff that's ordinarily covered. You with me thus far?"

"Yeah, sure… Sounds good…" Ron grinned a bit. "So I guess your midriff is ok to look at and touch?" Kim frowned.

"Ok, new rule: No looking, no touching. At all." Ron cursed himself for his misplaced joke, while contemplating the new rule.

"Ehh… can't we work on the first one? I mean, it doesn't seem like the new rule is practical."

"Really? Planning on touching something, Ron? Maybe thinking about finding a full length mirror?" Kim gritted her teeth as she spoke.

"Chill, KP, I was just kidding. Besides… nothing I haven't seen before." Kim gasped.

"You've… seen me… you know… before? When?" Ron scratched his neck. Another joke down the drain.

"Well, I mean… not necessarily you… I just… you know… The general… anatomical… stuff." Kim's frown returned.

"Well, you haven't seen my 'general anatomical stuff', and I'd prefer it if we could keep it that way!" Ron held up his hands. Her hands. Whatever.

"I understand, Kim, don't worry. I'm only saying that no touching is gonna be hard to enforce. I mean, what if I have to put something in my pocket? I'd have to do at least some touching… Unless we use Rufus as a middleman for whatever we need to do?"

Kim contemplated Ron's words. It did seem like no touching wasn't gonna work… But using Rufus wasn't gonna work either.

"Ok, some touching will be allowed. But no wandering hands, Mister!" Ron crossed his arms, a little perturbed at the implication.

"Yeah. Same goes for you, Miss! Ms? Anyway, no wandering hands on the Rondo!"

"Hah!" Kim laughed. "As if I even want to!" Ron frowned.

"Oh, I'd be a bit less nervous if it weren't for the fact that I'm talking to the girl who locked braces with Walter Nelson! Man, can't even think about what crazy things that girl would do to a boy with her hands instead of her mouth!"

"Oh, you have no idea what I can do with my hands, Ronald!" Kim seethed. Ron stood perplexed.

"Are… Are you coming on to me?" Kim rolled her eyes at Ron.

"No, I'm threatening you, you dolt!"

"Don't call me a dolt with that mouth! That's my mouth!" Ron's voice was getting louder.

"Really? Well, then I guess, I'll just- Dolt!"

"Arrgh! Well, If you're gonna stand here and insult me with MY mouth, I'll guess I'll just go eat some potato chips with YOUR mouth!" Kim grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

"Ok, you'll do no such thing, I have the Regionals tomorrow!"

"Well… I guess we'll have to compromise, then." Ron grinned.

"Fine. No insults, no eating chips." Kim took a breath. "Where were we?"

"No touching things unless it's understandable things. No looking. And the rules go both ways."

"Ok, glad we agree. Next thing: clothing. I'm thinking you'll wear the cheerleader outfit all day tomorrow, unless we have to change to mission clothes."

"Ehh… Sure, ok, I guess... I mean, I think things were working out just fine with that blindfold thing we did earlier…"

Kim shrugged. When they changed from their mission clothes, they'd worn blindfolds, an idea that had come from Private Dobbs.

"Yeah, that works too, but you had trouble enough as it was without having to do it in the bathroom at school." Ron started to open his mouth when Kim interrupted him "And don't even think of suggesting you'll change in the girls locker room!"

"Aww, come on, KP! You're taking all the fun out of this!" The locker room sitch had been on Ron's mind. A lot.

"What. Do you mean. By fun. Ron? Anyway, so not gonna happen. You couldn't keep your eyes closed for that long anyway. And I'm not giving you a free pass at ogling the girls!" Ron grumbled at hearing Kim's words. Kim sensed that he needed extra persuasion.

"I'm serious, Ron! And it's not just for them, it's for me! Three months ago, Marcella zoned out in the locker room, and everyone thought she was staring at Tara changing! Sure, everyone understood that she just zoned out, but they were on edge around her for weeks after that! And that was for zoning out! Can't even imagine how they'll react if they see you, as me, sitting there drooling!" Ron nodded his head begrudgingly.

"Alright. But they really shouldn't judge people because they like to look at different things."

"Sure, but I'll be damned if I have to take responsibility for what YOU look at!"

Kim hadn't been upset at the Marcella-sitch; she had even tried to mediate the whole thing. And even if Marcella had swung that way, Kim wouldn't have been bothered. Saving the world and battling bad guys, she thought, had a way of making people focus on the real problems of the world instead of what people merely said were problems. Or at least it should.

Ron took a breath. He still didn't like the thought of having to walk around the entire day in the cheerleader outfit.

"Ok, no locker room. For either of us. But still, I think I can change in the bathroom or something." Kim smirked.

"What? Afraid you'll like wearing skirts?" She punctuated her statement with a small chuckle. Ron squirmed.

"I have worn skirts before! Remember the ballerina costume?" Kim chuckled again. "I was just thinking that we're probably gonna screw up enough tomorrow, and we really don't need to draw any extra attention to ourselves." Kim raised her left eyebrow.

"What do you mean, extra attention? It's just a cheerleader uniform."

"Hello? Exactly my point! It draws attention, haven't you noticed?" He really didn't want to expound on the subject, as it would have entailed discussing things he had heard in the locker rooms that made him ashamed to be a guy.

"Ok, fine, you've got a point. Change in the bathroom. Which brings me to the third point." Ron slapped his hand across his eyes. He could have seen this point coming.

"Right, right. No looking, no touching there either. And you… sit down when you have to go. Don't want you 'accidentally' taking a peek at the other guys." Kim nodded. Ron rubbed his eyes as he thought of another thing.

"I think I'm gonna have to teach you a thing or two about… correcting." Kim looked confused, so Ron had to gesture to the area he was referring to. She blushed.

"Ehh… Ohh… Didn't think of that. But, I mean, is it really that big of a deal? I'm sure I can take some discomfort?"

Ron rolled his eyes. "Ok, KP. Do as I do." He started moving his legs around, gauging Kim's reactions. Suddenly, in the middle of a movement, Kim's eyes widened. She blinked, several times. Ron thought he could see beads of sweat forming on Kim's forehead.

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Now, about correcting…" Ron showed Kim a couple of maneuvers he had learned, none that entailed the use of hands. Eventually, Kim relaxed.

"Man, is that what you go through with these things? Holy hell!" Ron grinned.

"Yeah, and that's just 'some discomfort'. I'd suggest you stay away from actual pain. For my sake, at least." Kim nodded.

They sat down on Kim's bed and stayed silent for a while. Suddenly, Kim started chuckling. Ron looked over at her, and couldn't resist it. He started chuckling too, and in a minute they were both laughing.

"Man, I think that had to be the worst conversation of my life!" Kim shouted. As Ron calmed down enough to talk, he looked at her.

"What's the second worst?"

"Post brace-locking conversation with Walter Nelson. That was uncomfortable, though. This one was just weird."

She smiled as she looked at her best friend. They could do this. At least one day.


End file.
